Tarnished Heart
by Yume no Kage
Summary: Updated with Part Two. Rating for mild shounen-ai (yaoi) and angst. Zero's leaving for good this time, and has one chance to tell someone how he feels.
1. Part One: Zero

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Tarnished Heart

This will be my first submission to Fanfiction.net; a recent prose I wrote from Zero's point of view, as perhaps a prelude to Rockman Zero, after X6. Please enjoy, and my muse pleads that you review.

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Link: Yes! Please please! We like reviews!

YnK: *bonks him* Calm down, elf-boy.

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It was so long ago, do you remember? X?

I saved you from them... I was always there. I could have gone on and done the job myself, but you had something to prove. You had something to fight for. I was different. Yeah, that's it; there it is... I'm different. I sacrificed myself for you not only then, but many times later for the same exact reason. I loved you. No, not just the type of 'brotherly love,' that you picked up from the humans, that you shower upon all in your limitless goodwill and compassion, not only the love of comrades and brothers-in-arms, not merely the love that exists between siblings by blood or soul... I mean the kind that binds one life to another. My life is forever bound to you, little blue angel, whether we're together or apart. I would promise forever to you, should it be within my grasp, but can limited beings as we even hope to make such a proposal? It's meaningless, so I won't say such nonsense... but I do pledge whatever pieces of my life and memory remain to you, and only you. 

I can't begin to wonder the absurdity of all this, and perhaps you're already laughing, but my heart demands that truth be told, and never could I feed you falsehoods. Even as I ponder and say this, a little voice is laughing at me. That I'm a fool to think this way, in the weak human manner of kindness and passion. But it's part of who I am; you helped to teach me **how** to care, **how** to feel. The voice wasn't always so little, you know; it's a menace, one that drive me to slay millions upon millions of innocents -- or perhaps not all were pure, I didn't know nor care int those days. My eyes were red then, did you know? Only when I met you did they fade to their present emerald shade, only when I became a Hunter did the madness recede like the playful tide.

But I won't go astray from the point now, while there's so little time left. X, you changed me, so completely that in the beginning I was even more lost than when I was Maverick. I no longer had a purpose; no further drive to live. I once danced with Temptation, as she whispered thoughts of sweet suicide in my ears and pulled me further into the darkness...

...until I heard you calling me, that first time. Fate has a strange way of pulling the strings, even with Reploids. Somehow I knew you needed me, and that was all I needed to find you and give my life for yours. But then, I didn't know what I realized now. It was still too dark to see, I was too blind to walk along the path.

I died for you, more than once, and never will I regret it. I've watched you grow from a timid boy 'bot to a strong warrior with the courage to take on the worst that Hell could throw at you. Why did you do it? Because you cared... not only for your own life -- but then, you were always selfless, weren't you? -- but for those around you. You knew what was at stake, you knew the odds... and still you continued to fight, even when the chips were stacked high and anyone else would have folded the game.

That determination and purity of spirit... so different from my own bloodstained and broken past. They say that love has no bounds; it can transcend anything... and indeed it has. Despite all reason, all understanding or comprehension, beyond all** belief** I love you, and always will.

My friend, my comrade, my confidante... it is time for me to bid you farewell, and good luck on your journeys for the future. This time, I won't be able to come back... no daring rescues by your best buddy in the heat of battle... I'm sorry. I have no choice. Please forgive me, and forgive this selfish letter, should you ever find it. You will forever remain in my heart, cold as it seems to others... Even if you hate me for telling you so late, know that I love you. I'm not the most punctual of 'bots, but you knew that already.

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~~Zero

The crimson robot punched a button to end the message, blinking back the stinging emotions that permeated briliant emerald orbs. He handed the datapad to an aide, who would deliver the message in three days' time. He would be long gone by then.

Without looking the technicians and doctors, he strode with pride into the prepared capsule, never once looking back. Because, for the first time he had a reason to act, a purpose to protect, and a love that gave him the strength to follow through.

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Goodbye.

Remember me.


	2. Part Two: X

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Tarnished Heart: Part Two

Author's Notes: This was meant to be a one-shot, but Calypso's review sparked a sudden inspiration. Thus, this chapter is dedicated to Calypso… with a thank you.

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How could I forget?

Even in the darkest and bleakest of days, or even the brightest and brilliant… always did I think about you, Zero. I mean, who could not notice you as you passed down those bustling halls, beginning from Day One? Impressively tall with an attitude to match; but always I saw something different in your eyes than the ignorant rest, the mistrusting individuals who had all but labeled you as Maverick. Those emeralds never seemed to hide anything from me… the stormy seas within halted their turmoil so that I, out of all those you could have chosen, could see the soul… the beautiful soul within.

I can hear you chuckling at me in that deep baritone -- though I'll never again see your striking face and that polished red armor -- for being so sentimental, as always. We were always black and white, yin and yang… complete opposites in every way. And yet, we were the same in a single, unbreakable way. We never knew our creators, never discovered our true origins and purpose of creation. Yes, once we came close to breaking that wall… but it crumbled beneath our boots as we scaled ever so close to the goal, do you remember?

I, too, have no time left. My body already begins to shut down… and everything's going so dark… but I can still see every detail of your face, Zero, even as I lay here on the verge of eternal sleep. I envy you to live on… the doctors told me everything save for your location… how I've yearned to see you again if only for a fleeting moment in time! A micro… no, a **nanosecond**! But no… you wanted me to remember what you were, and not what you had become, ne? Always the egotistical streak… a proud warrior even in memory as it proceeds to fail me now.

Did you really think I would condemn your spirit with rejection? For the longest time, I've battled my own feelings for you, eternally wanting to run my hands through that long, gold spun silk… and hold you in my arms to feel your warmth. The only time I'd done so was while you bled away to deactivation… can you comprehend the heart-wrenching horror I felt every single time? My stomach knotted impossibly, my throat swelled with emotion… my voice betrayed me every time, Zero.

I love you. Unquestioningly, unendingly and unbarred. Always have I felt this… from the day I first laid eyes on you! You were so fierce then, under Sigma's tutelage, unwilling to trust and hesitant to accept another as companion. Then we met… and everything changed. I'd heard of your fragmented and bloody past as it turned you into a demonic façade all over the base… then I decided to see for myself who the Red Demon really was.

They couldn't have been more wrong. Not a demon in any sense, but perhaps a fallen angel. Yes, an angel with a tarnished heart; who barely remembered his sins and committed everything to repentance… even sacrificing friendship. Though, even as you tried to shove me away I wouldn't give up. You were a puzzle, and a tough cookie to crack… but I know I got through to you, somehow.

I, too, have no regrets, save for that we were never together to confess our hearts in person. How I will miss you… we'll never meet again, but I hope with all my slowing heart and failing systems that my soul will live on within you, my love. You're never alone; never truly. Always remember me, as I have you these past 50 years.

It's time. I can't hold on any longer. My voice strains… you can hear it, can't you? I'm sorry… so sorry it all had to end this way. But I won, Zero. And I lived on for you… until I couldn't fight any more. And even my will… can't sustain me… but love… will always… uphold us…

"Good…bye… Zero…"

A whining noise emanated from the monitoring computers, as X's eyes glazed over. With a shuddering gasp, he exhaled… for the last time. The doctor shook his head, tearstains marking his face from the heartfelt monologue. He switched off the recorder, dropping it into an expansive coat pocket. He'd get the message to its receiver… if it was the last thing he ever did.

Reaching out, his hand touched the reploid's cool forehead, slipping the now-empty eyes shut. X had lived a long, hard life… but all those years he fought for the memory of one whom he'd never set his gaze upon again. Indeed, his last battle was fought, his systems beyond all repair.

And yet, even with all the pain, all the suffering he went through… even in death there was a smile on his eternally young face. A smile for _him_… a smile for a tarnished heart.

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Goodbye…

Remember me…

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Link: _*wipes away tears*****_ That was so sad! Why'd you have to go and end it like that, huh?

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YnK: _*shrugs*_ I dunno… I guess I wanted to follow the storyline? _*sweatdrop*_

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Link: Aww… ok…

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YnK: Anyhow… thanks to those who read and reviewed, and a thank you to Calypso once again for the idea. Ja ne ^_^V


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